That they’re bad for your health

Like when I had to spend nine hours at the immigration bureau to get my visa sorted and my-gay-friend crossed half the city to bring me a chocolate croissant. What does it matter if I had not eaten since the night before and was exhausted? Chocolate is bad for your health.

That they spread diseases

Like when I was feeling the last of the creatures because it started raining on my birthday barbecue and my-gay-friend dragged me to dance in the rain and jump in puddles. What does it matter if I forgot all the sadness at the time? I caught a cold.

That they’re not good examples

Like when I was living far far away in the countryside, I had a terrible respiratory infection and my-gay-friend hitchhiked with a stranger to cross half of the state and bring me the medicine I needed to use on the nebulizer and had no prescription to buy. What does it matter if thanks to him I got treatment just in time so it wouldn’t turn into a pneumonia? Hitchhiking with someone unknown is inadmissible.

That they’re noisy

Like when I had my first asthma attack and my-gay-friend took me to the hospital. When we got there the nurse said she couldn’t put me on the emergency queue and he made a scandal saying that I hadn’t be able to breathe for over half an hour at that stage. What does it matter if I was dying? Hospital is no place to drama.

That they don’t respect your space

Like when I was “dying” and crying with PMS and my-gay-friend invaded my room with pizza, ice cream and all seasons of RuPaul to watch with me. What does it matter if I forgot all the sadness and did “lypsinc for my life”? Invading the space of the other is actually a crime.

That they have bad habits

Like when I was desperate with the neuroanatomy subject in college and my-gay-friend jumped on his motorbike and came to my house to explain everything I didn’t understand and study until 3am. What does it matter if I was approved on my exams and even today still remember everything? Bedtime is before 10pm.

For all those reasons and many more, I want to leave here my testimony and my advice: do not be friends with gay people. Those people infiltrate in your life and all that stuff above is just the beginning! My life has changed in a way that now there’s no return!

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